So, Today I had a complete emotional breakdown. Considering the fact that I was crying it wasn't as bad as usual, because if you know me you know that when I cry I often have an emotional fit that would scare the pants off every female bitch fit you've ever seen; In fact, it would probably horrify every therapist I've ever met, and that's plenty. However, I was being watched. So, instead of writhing on the floor and screaming I just sobbed, gasped, and rocked back and forth. My mother watched with complete mortification, and Kenzy was very excited that she had finally joined the very small club of people who have seen me cry.
If you're wondering why I was crying, I went from angry, to horrified, to overwhelmed, to annoyed, to panicked in under 3 hours. First, a girl in my father's congregation was disfellowshipped. It was like realizing you were at a funeral, after thinking you were at a wedding. Then, I was told that Tucker's beautiful little angel darling of a sister is in the hospital. Then, I had one of my angry rants where I started shouting, " What is it that you people want me to feel!? Just tell me what you want me to feel and I'll act like I feel it so everyone will leave me alone!" Then, my mother made the grave mistake of touching my neck. I went from hysterical laughter to hysterical sobbing in a matter of 30 seconds. It was the tip of a huge iceberg of religious angst, teenage annoyance, and life-long anxiety issues. Since, I didn't get to have my full force nervous breakdown I'm totally thrown off emotionally now. Also, I hadn't cried in over 4 months; I was trying to break my 8 month record, AND NOW I HAVE TO START ALL OVER. Godammit.
Anywho, my life wreaks of Nag Champa and Adolescence. I'm writing far too much, but hey, if you didn't want to be bored by my freakish personal life you wouldn't read my blog. Kenzy's playing a song and singing, " I want to insert lyrics here that sound really cool. So I can write like Jewlz." I don't know. I feel like as a lyricist I'm growing, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm good; It just means I suck a little less. I wrote two songs. One of which I wrote a bass line for and the other for which I wrote a chord progression. Now she's saying, " I want to cartoonify Noah and rip off his head." I don't really have any comments on that. Other than that... Yeah. Nothing. Then she sang," E is sad. And Em is sad. E will never be happy. E is like me." Classic Kenzy.
I have a pretty jampacked weekend. Noah's coming over tomorrow during the day, Then Mia's spending the evening with me, Then I'm going over Mia's for a party/sleepover thingy Saturday. Then, I'll probably find some other people who want a piece of my life to hang out with Sunday. Then I have the district convention next weekend. 3 DAYS OF CHURCH. THREE. I'm going to murder my entire congregation in their sleep, unless I find some way to distract myself from the religious propganda mixed with social inablitly always found at these things.
[Note: There is a very obvious lack of code names, numbered people, and any manner of inconspicuity in this post. I don't care for failed attempts at stealthiness. Just remember people, that we always know who you're talking about. So, it doesn't matter.]
No comments:
Post a Comment