Rachel Lynn Von Husen

"Linger on, Pale Blue Eyes."

I love you. Even though our friendship has felt a little difficult lately, I'm so happy that I dealt with it. You're such an amazing girl. You're beautiful, unique, talented, and creative. I'm so grateful that we're friends, and that -despite everything you think about friendship- you still trust me. I hope that we stay friends for a long time, or for life... Because I can't imagine life without you. Please don't punch me in the face ever again.
With love and other stuff that makes me uncomfortable,
Your bestfriend.

I miss you. ( Boredom and Blink)

Well, Here we go again:

1.)
This song basically sums you up. Let's try to keep the drama to a minimum. Again, can't live with you; can't live without you. Whatever, I love you. Done.

2.) You're pretty awesome. You've been an incredible friend lately. Sometimes, you make me crazy... Whatever, I love you. Done.

3.) xhdjtdigdfsjfzjtdjgxh. Still like you, still hate it. You still can't creep me out, and i still win. You're pretty fantastic... Which sucks. Whatever, I love you. Done.

4.) Like you?! Pshh. No. Never. Not at all. Alright maybe a tiny bit, but I'm never going to tell you so.... Ha! Whatever, I love you. Done.

Love is.

First of all, be happy. Don't even start reading my blog right now unless you are happy. If you're going to be unhappy or over dramatic, go read basically anyone else's blog. I you want to be sophisticated go read Rachel's blog. ( I highly recommend it.) However, if you are genuinely happy and worry-free, stay right here and read on.




Also, please excuse any grammatical errors. It's two in the morning. I'm the only person up, and I'm typing on an iPod.

Today I saw a shirt that said, " Love is..." Clearly this was an unfinished question; an inquiry that was meant to cause the people reading it to wonder. At first, I thought things such as," A mother loves her children." " A man loves his wife." Then I remembered that not only are those statements sometimes untrue, they are often untrue. So, I was left with this question:" What is this fantastical thing called love? What is this overwhelming emotion that so many of my friends, relatives, and romantic interests have claimed to feel for me?" I could think of nothing. But as I thought on 8 realized that maybe the answer was in the question. Love is. Despite everything, despite pain, fear, greed and hunger love lives on. As humans, we constantly ask," Love is..." Ladies and gentlemen, love is. And that's what makes it so amazing.

With love, a painfully mediocre blogpost.

Stop it. Don't even present the idea of anything romantic ever happening between us ever ever ever again. Damnit, now I'm being a hypocrite. You can tell me anything. I mean that. You just have to understand that it's incredibly frustrating for me when you keep taking things away and then puttng them back. It's like you just want to tease me with what I know I'll never really get to have. Can't we just be friends? I love you way too much to not be friends. I was getting good at putting everything else behind us. So, stop bringing those feelings back to the surface. We're dancing on a very very thin line here, between friendship and old feelings. And that is a dangerous place to be. I'm trying to do the responsible smart thing for once, because everytime we do this it explodes in our faces. Well, more like it explodes in MY face. You know how bad I am at refusing you. You know how difficult it is for me to not just humor you, and play right along with your little charm. I could probably recite your lines by now. " Is it sad..." Yes. It's pretty sad. It's sad that you hurt so many people in your quest for romantic satisfaction and you can't just be satisfied. I love you though. More than words can say. And it's important to me that I'm friends with you. You CAN tell me anything, and I want you to. I'll always give you my best advice, and be the same kind caring friend that I have always tried to be for you. However, the bachelor: you edition isn't running another season. Choose a path and take it, because It's all or nothing, and your fan club of girls is dwindling. <------ My rambling letter thingy is done now.



I'm going to Florida, and this is the first year that I can honestly say that leaving New Hampshire will be bittersweet. I'm going to miss my friends so much. I'm going to miss Mia's painfully enthusiastic hugs, Kaycey's musical themed everything, Noah's awkwardness, Kenzy's yawns, Felicity drawing on my stomach, Rachel's punches in the face (not really), Ethan's perverted jokes, Bridget and Maddy's habit of rushing me everytime I lay down, and making fun of Sam. I can't wait to throw a big party when I get back and see all of your lovely faces.

Fairytales...

Kaycey Guertin is a magical, woodland creature store wearing, boston accent speaking, Bob Marley obsessing, Fairy. And I plan to go run away with her and a select few other not suicidal people, and form a beautiful non-suicidal commune. There will be no sharp objects, and there will be lighters everywhere. Also, a sickeningly epic mix of alternative, reggae, and pearl jam, will be played at mind-blowingly loud volumes at all times. We will paint all of the babies purple. Also, women will be expected to wear tutus on a regular basis. Lastly, anyone who glares at our odd fashion, doesn't like our music, or gets drunk and plays with our hair at concerts, will be forced to bathe in acid, and do the chicken dance completely naked in front of the entire community. If you think that this seems unrealistic, you clearly aren't the kind of person we want in our commune... so stop reading this. And stop following my blog.



CAKE AND STUFF.

You people I call my friends and enemies.

#1: "Come Sail Away, Come Sail Away, Come Sail Away with me."
You and I can always laugh away the pain of whatever's happening. No matter what. We turn every difficult situation into some kind of ridiculous private joke. Even our hand shake. I love you. Thanks for standing by me through all the madness. <3

#2: " I can't survive on what you send, everytime you need a friend."
So, I don't get any love anymore? Alright. That's cool. I'm sure the next time you're having a breakdown I'll be here to make you feel better. I really am happy you finally got the girl you wanted all along... It would just be nice if you didn't ignore the gracious and forgiving "friend" that you supposedly care so much for. Yeah. Also, It gets really difficult for me to not write songs about you. Stop being so damn complicated. Nevermind. Don't. By the way, I found a letter that I wrote you and never gave you in my pencil case today... ripped to sheds. I tried to put it back together out of curiousity... but the first words I read were, " Maybe I would have taken better advantage of the oppurtunity if I had realized it might be my last chance to do so." I shoved it back in the case.

#3: "And Nothing Else Matters."
I don't even freaking fracking know. I'll just keep telling myself that it doesn't matter and that I should stop liking you. Eventually, head will win over heart.

#4: " I guess this is growing up."

I"M NOT IGNORING YOU. I DON"T PLAN TO. Honestly, It gets really difficult to be your friend. On one hand, I have to ignore all the insults and glares and rude indifferent shit you spit at me. However, if I'm not intently listening to the normal stuff in between I get punished. It feels like I'm always walking on eggshells with you. I love you, but the fact of the matter is that you're just being a bad friend.


I have a new found appreciation for Metallica. I only looked at a video of them because a friend kept sending me letters with Metallica quotes and my mom said I was only allowed to listen to hair bands today. I love her.

Drama queens.

God, You guys are so dramatic. I don't care. I don't care at all. I genuinely, truly, don't care. Honestly, why do you people let yourselves become so totally consumed in things that will be totally different in a week? It baffles me how you people find the emotional energy to constantly be angsty and annoyed over the stupidest things. Considering all of the things that we all have to deal with, especially certain members, it's amazing that you guys are all depressed and distressed over whether or not your girlfriend kisses you enough, or someone's facebook status. There are people in our social group with real life-changing things going on their lives. Your friends are dealing with actual problems. That's right, ACTUAL problems. Get over yourselves.

My wonderous super amazing people guessing game that you all shamelessly steal

Person #1: We're friends. It's awesome. We're awesome. That's right, you and I, we rock. Mhmm. Troll King. It's okay that your trollish, because apparently I am too. and apparently we fly. xD

Person #2: I'm sorry that you're all asdfghjkl. I love you very very much. And I'm sorry about the tree branch. Also, Beauty, you are quite beautiful.

Person #3: Shit. Well, this is exactly the opposite of what I had planned.  I wasn't supposed to tell you I like you. You weren't supposed to tell me you like me. In fact, we weren't supposed to like eachother. But I do. So.... Yes. It's mostly just because you're awesome. Don't think that I won't still kivk your ass, boy. I will. I went there.

Person #4: I love you. Doctor Who and Pasta. Yes.

Person #5: **ring**
" What do YOU want?"
" That's a nice way of answering the phone."
" Of course it is, Bitch."

... enough said. <3 xD

Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch, You know I love you. I can't help myself. I love you and nobody else.

He says that, and then they sleep together. She feels like the world has stopped and everything's going to be just like in the movies, and you know what he does? He bails.

I'm not a pessimist; I'm a realist. There's a huge difference.


#1: Well, this sucks. No. Of course not. Like you!? Pshh. You're crazy. Not at all. NEVER.

#2: SEXY BASSIST BUDDIES FOREVER? Yes. I think so. *ahem* troll. Hmm? What?

I am not Bipolar. I am Bi-winning.

I am perfectly content with life. This never happens. I have nothing negative to say. I'm not going to point out some enormous flaw in society, or in my life. I'm not going to rant about my dad, or religion, or any other angsty subject. I'm just going to sit here, and honestly tell you that I am satisfied. I am content. I am okay.


I have an obsession with suicide notes today. (Big jump from former paragraph? yes.) First, I read a book on Nirvana and only read the chapter's about Kurt's suicide note (r.i.p. <3), Then I bought an AMAZING book called suicide notes, Then I learned Adam's Song on guitar and played it literally 25 times. It was really weird. I don't know, just a current obsession.



So, these days I find all romance nauseating. Especially the really heart felt "real" or happy stuff. I can handle the drama, and the fights, but when people are deeply happy in a a relationship I find it deeply disturbing and more-than-slightly sickening.



Yes. I do like a boy. No. I won't tell you who. Yes. That does go against everything I just stated. No. I don't care what you think.

DON'T JUDGE ME, JUST BECAUSE I'M A WINNER.

That sketchy people guessing game.

 Number One: I missed you, but now I don't have to miss you anymore. Yay. I was mildly horrified at the "fact" that we would probably never be exactly the same ever again. Well, that's just my paranoia. I love you little face-making bunny girl.

 Number Two: So, troll face. Ya... rabid squirrel mixed with a leprachaun. It's okay, Troll King. I am happy *ahem* ecstatic that I again see you as the slightly annoying sickeningly lovable teddy bear like man child that I met earlier this year, and often wanted to hurt. (:

 Number Three: Pointless. Just like shoes, and society, and clothing, my liking you is utterly pointless. Well, I have a sort of fettish for pointless things these days. It's dreadfully inconvenient. Anyway, Don't do that. The whole, " I'm me and I'll just have a low self esteem and force Jewlz to compliment me in her awkward fashion." Not to say that I wasn't serious.... Also, don't tell me that you don't think you're charming. Bull shit. You know you're charming. It's just like Kenzy's face, you know it's irrefusable. -_-

 Number Four: So, you're being a bit rude and indifferent and whatever. It's okay. I understand that you're in more pain than you are willing to admit right now. Yes, It stings a little, and I can't promise not to get pissed sometimes. We'll get through this. As the great Marley says " Truth is, everyone is gonna hurt you. You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." You're worth it.


 Number Five: RIVER SONG. <3.... Yeah.