Just Like Old Times.

I miss it. I miss it. So. Much. I miss how simple it was. No one hated me. Not at all. I liked one person, and I knew he would never like me back so it didn't matter anyhow. I didn't have a best friend. There was me, and there were the girls. My two girls. My two crazy constantly-fighting but amazing and adorable girls. HE was just some dumb boy who I hardly knew and often disliked. And even though I don't regret anything. I love my friends now. I love my guys and girls who stood by me. It still hurts to think about those simple times. It still makes me feel a little homesick.

I keep finding myself having these flashbacks. These weird moments where I picture clear as day a moment that I will never again get the chance experience. Play rehearsals, bits of chorus classes, lingering in lobbies, car rides, falling asleep on the couch, text messages, phone calls, parties, confetti, hair cuts, sparkly water. Things that seem like they mean nothing. At the time, they were nothing to me. But now, knowing how things have changed... I wish I could go back and relive those moments with this new appreciation for them.

I wish, I wish, I wish. But it doesn't matter. You can wish at 11:11, and 1:11, and 2:22, and 3:33, and 4:44, and 5:55. But it doesn't matter. I wish with all my heart everyday, but this is no movie. Wishes only add up to a big waste of time in the end.